I will admit, us guys have a nasty habit of messing up with our girls and jeopardizing the relationships we have with them. Time and again, our simplistic and idiotic mistakes threaten to end the things we hold dear, and we get to that desperate point where we have to figure out “how do I get her to stay?” Well, maybe I can help.
Figuring out how to get your girl to not leave you can hinge a lot on what’s making her want to leave in the first place. Figuring out what you’re doing wrong can be a vital first step in keeping her from dumping you. Some of you reading this will know what went wrong, but for those who don’t there follows a small list of questions you can ask yourself.
-Did I violate her personal definition of unfaithfulness? -Did I say something stupid or make her feel bad about herself because of something I said? -Have I been making enough time in my life to spend with her, and make her feel loved? -Did I forget her birthday/our anniversary/Valentine’s Day/Christmas? -Have I been supportive enough of her emotions and feelings? -Have I respected her opinion in the relationship and treated her as an equal?
I’m not saying these six things are the only possible reasons for why she’s thinking about leaving, but they should get your mind working and usually have a little to do with whatever’s going on. Remember that it’s rarely just one problem, but can be an entire slew of them.
Now, there are big problems and little problems in a relationship, but none of them are trifling matters. Even “smaller” problems like saying something stupid or forgetting Valentine’s Day can stack to cause a relationship-threatening feud. Just because they’re not world-enders doesn’t mean you can ignore them…it just makes them easier to handle.
Cheating on her, not supporting her emotions or helping her to feel loved and like she’s important to you, and not spending enough time with her are all things that can be considered “big.” These can hit hard in a relationship, and getting through one that’s threatened by these can require a lot of sacrifice and change.
Saving a relationship from its problems starts with you stopping the behaviors that started it…this is easiest with the little things. Immediately quitting these things coupled with a heartfelt apology can usually take care of the majority of the recovery needed, but only if you continue to NOT do those things.
Remember that while the little things are generally not relationshipkillers when taken one at a time, repeating them over a long period of time or doing a bunch at once can really mess things up for you and your girlfriend, so you don’t get a free pass with these. Be careful.
Big things are the real killers of relationships. Cheating is a massive relationship killer, so all I can say on this one is don’t EVER do it in the first place, and make sure you know what your woman considers being unfaithful…sometimes all it takes is a lingering gaze with no follow-up intentions to make your girlfriend start to feel hurt. There’s no reason to look at other women anyways, you’re with the best one in the world!
Frankly, most problems big and small in a relationship can be avoided entirely by paying really close attention and respecting each other. When communication shuts down and you stop listening to one another, things can get hairy pretty fast. If you just devote your attention and time to your girlfriend, things should be pretty good…and on the rare occasion that a problem comes up, you’ll be able to deal with it quickly and effectively.
If there’s a serious problem going on right now with your relationship, and your girlfriend is looking for the door in spite of your desire to make it work, it’s critical to do what you have to in order to make her happy and make her stay. Sacrifice and compromise are the names of the game, and if that’s what it takes to make her feel cared-about, that’s what you need to do…and is that really so unfair?
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