By Trevor Goald
Remember how easy it was to fall in love? It didn’t take any effort at all. Your eyes met, you made a little small talk, and that was that. So, if it was so easy to fall in love, why is it sometimes so hard to keep your relationship on a happy course?
All relationships are not created equally. There are healthy, lasting partnerships and there are those that seem doomed from the very beginning. The strength of your union depends entirely upon how you and your partner handle life’s obstacles.
If you feel that your current relationship needs improvement, step back and take a good look at the partnership. Did your state of romantic bliss suddenly take a turn for the worse, or has it been stuck on a course of slow decline? Consider what you may have done wrong, and don’t be afraid to take a good look at your own personal shortcomings.
If you truly want to save a troubled relationship, you need to be able to recognize the trouble zones:
A Failure to Communicate
If your relationship is going to thrive, it needs to be built on a solid base of open communication. Without communication, both you and your partner won’t have a clear understanding of what’s really going on. You may not even be aware that there is a problem at all. When this happens, a seemingly healthy relationship can quickly turn sour. Poor communication creates more conflict. If you and your partner cannot openly discuss what you each want and need from the union, you’re bound to hit rocky roads. Remaining silent when a problem arises serves no purpose, and will only aggravate the problem. It’s far better to express your true feelings and risk having an open dispute, rather than staying silent and saying nothing at all. Poor communication or no communication at all, only contributes to a failing relationship.
Put Pride Aside
It’s actually healthy to have petty arguments and conflicts from time to time. These “good” confrontations will ultimately strengthen your union. When you pile on the pride, however, your discussions can quickly turn into full-blown fights. Put your pride aside when you and your partner disagree. Learn to be humble. Apologize when you’re wrong, and accept your partner’s apologies with no strings. . No loving relationship is built on pride.  Be flexible with your partner and give him or her a little room for error. There is no “wrong” or “right” in any healthy relationship. Keep your partnership strong by voicing your opinions, and respecting those of your partner.
Lies and Deceit
If anything can kill a healthy relationship, it’s lies and deceit. To compound the problem, these two crimes are usually tied together. An unfaithful partner tries his or her best to lie about the infidelity and hid the deception. Sooner or later, however, the truth will come out. The jilted partner has been deceived and lied to. He or she is too enraged to listen to any explanation, and cannot bear to hear any more lies.
If your partner admits to being unfaithful, you may find that this is the culmination of a string of lies and deceit. Your once happy and romantic relationship can quickly fail, as the very basic element of trust has been taken out of the equation. You will be suspicious and jealous, your partner will be guilt-ridden and ashamed, and the negative feelings can lead to an ongoing cycle that will eventually lead to a failed relationship.
Don’t despair if your good relationship feels bad from time to time, and don’t worry that it’s ruined beyond repair. If you know the warning signs and are willing to take the steps to improve the health of your partnership, you can build on your healthy bond and make your union even stronger.
Author Trevor Goald is a contributor to numerous web sites, on mental health and health and wellness topics. You are welcome to reprint this article - but get your own unique content version here.
