By Erik J. Michaels
Going through a breakup is hard, that’s pretty much universally-known. What’s NOT as well-known is that it really doesn’t have to be, considering you can put an end to all the breakup pain by following a few simple steps to get your ex back. Sound good? Keep reading!
As complicated as the process for getting your ex back really is, it can be simplified and divided up into five steps that make it a lot easier to handle. Consider these to be chunks of a much bigger object called “getting your life back on track.” I’ll try to keep it as simple as I can while still giving you all you need to know about each step.
Step 1: Your first impulse directly after the breakup is usually to plague your ex with what I call the “take me back -attack.” This is a BAD IDEA. Your ex will NOT want to talk to you right now, it’s still too painful. Give the poor person some space, and frankly you could use it too.
Step 2: Take advantage of the downtime to work on the things you did or didn’t do that contributed to the breakup. Every couple has flaws equally divided, but the person who gets broken up with usually has more. These things have to be addressed and dealt with, or else you can’t expect anything better from new relationships than the fate of the old one. Make the necessary changes. Yeah, this is the main chunk that’s bigger than the others, but it’s important.
Step 3: Once you’ve had sufficient time to recover from the breakup and really get yourself back into order, you can go ahead and contact your ex. Do so lightly at first, and keep away from aggressive relationship talk. Just give him/her a phone call or email asking how they’ve been doing. It’s light, it makes contact, and it serves as a good starting point for slightly escalating contacts.
Step 4: If the first contacts work out, you’ll probably slowly start spending more time with each other. During these occasions, don’t be aggressive…just do things with your ex that you both used to really enjoy. This is great for rekindling old memories and feelings. Second, use this time to let the work you’ve been doing on yourself speak for itself.
Step 5: It’s not sure-fire that your ex will want to get back together, but the chances are pretty good…and if you two DO give it another try, it’s critical that you not screw up now. So you got your ex back…now KEEP him/her! Don’t make the same mistakes again, and try to avoid any new ones too! This could be your last chance!
So always remember that sacrifice and compromise is a massive part of any well-running relationship. Both people have needs that must be met, and YOU are concerned with your PARTNER’s. Neglecting what your partner needs is the fastest and most efficient way to make that partner into an ex…possibly, for good.
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